My Best Friend
by emily-XD
Summary: this is my first story on here so please read... Mac is getting married and it is bringing out feelings Stella never really knew she had...
1. Chapter 1

Creative writing

I have known Mac for so many years, we have been through so much together, I help him and he helps me, we work. We have always been such close friends. Until recently. Ever since Peyton started working here he has been so distant. I don't like it, I miss my best friend. He barely talks to me any more, we used to be so close and I don't think we have spoken at all (apart from things relating to cases) in over a month. It has passed the anniversary of Claire's death, a day when Mac has always needed me, and is nearly Christmas, a time of year that Mac always finds very hard without Claire and we have spent together since she died.

Now he has flown off to England with her without as much as a goodbye. Have I done something to offend him?

Work seems so pointless without Mac, everyone is so unmotivated I never really realised how much he actually holds us all together, or how utterly vital he is to the running of the lab- even Danny and Lindsay were arguing with each other about the case today.

***

The phone is ringing, I answer it, it's Mac…

He says I need to come to London to see him, that it's important. I hope no-one is hurt, or worse still dead.

I agree, anything for Mac, I tell him I will be with him as soon as I possibly can be, that I will be there for him whenever and, it seems, wherever he needs me to be.

***

_5 hours later_

I pulled some favours that Mac was owed and am now on the very soonest flight to London, I can't help myself from worrying about Mac, I hope he is alright, I am also nervous about seeing him, it's been so long since we were just friends, not colleagues. I spent so long choosing what I ought to wear, I hope I look alright…hang on this is Mac I am going to see, he is not going to give a shit what I am wearing. Probably won't even notice.

***

I met Mac in the airport, Peyton was with him. He looked so happy; I haven't seen him like that since way back when Claire was still alive. Phew…obviously no one was dead…so why did he need me here so soon?

Well…it turns out that he is going to get married…to Peyton. Why does it hurt me so much to say that? It aches in the back of my throat and when he told me I had to swallow back tears.

To make it worse he has asked me to be like the best man…he said that he knew it was unconventional but that I was his best friend and that there was no-one else in the world who knew him as well as I do…I wanted to scream at him, and ask him why, if I knew him so well, I had no clue why he was marrying Peyton, and why it had taken him so long to actually tell me.

Of course I agreed although I knew it would only make the pain so much more unbearable for me, having to stand up in front of everyone and give my blessing to the happy couple when really what I wanted was to be…WOOOOAAAHHH….that was not a good direction to be going in…fantasies about my newly engaged best friend really aren't a good idea…

***

I wish he would at least try to keep out of my dreams, although, dream Mac is so much better than real Mac…dream Mac wants ME… not her…dream Mac spends every night in my bed with me, doing things to me that the real Mac wouldn't even dream of… not that he would probably want to.

OK. I admit it. I frequently dream about my best friend in a way that is waaay more than friendly. I know it's wrong, particularly now he is engaged, but he's so…well…perfect.

***

This is all happening so fast, the wedding is this weekend and I only arrived yesterday, there are numerous things going on and I seriously need to write a speech, but each time I start thinking about the oncoming nuptials I want to cry and run to Mac and admit my love for him.

***

Danny and Lindsay are here, Mac invited them for the wedding…along with all the others from the lab, I have asked Lindsay for help with my speech, she told me to put what I felt about Mac and how glad I was that he had found someone like Peyton. So I tried…this is what I came up with " I have known Mac for god knows how long, and he is still totally blind to the fact that I am completely and irrevocably in love with him and have been pretty much since I met him. This is a very unconventional way of telling him and is totally and utterly unfair of me and I am an epically shit friend. Mac, I will now wander out of your life, the friend who could never get over you and live forever as a sad spinster with my twenty something cats. What I mean to say is that I am very glad that if you can't love me then at least you can love someone else and I hope you will be happy." By the time I finished reading this to Lindsay I was in floods of tears, I don't want to leave Mac's life, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but as his wife or his lover, not the sad friend with a ridiculous crush. Poor Lindsay was speechless, what could she do.

"Oh Stella you poor thing" she said, "no wonder this is so hard for you, you really should tell him, and not through the speech."


	2. Chapter 2

**Well people seemed to like the first chapter…so I thought I would do a second one…so here goes**

**Oooh…just noticed…no disclaimer on first chapter…woops…**

**Disclaimer for both chapters: not mine **** ima go cry. **

**XXXXXX**

So obviously I could never read that speech out at Mac's wedding. It would just ruin his day; I could never do that to him. But Lindsay is right I need to tell Mac how I feel…preferably before the wedding. I will tell him today. Right now.

I'm outside Mac's room, trying to pluck up the courage to tell him how I feel. I can't do it, I can't bear the idea of being rejected by Mac, if he rejects me then I will lose dream Mac too, I will lose all hope that he likes me too. I won't, can't, put myself through that. I can't put him through that; I can't let him feel guilty about his rejection of me on his wedding day. I will just have to carry on pretending like I don't love my best friend.

***

I was fitted for a dress today, it is so beautiful- emerald green, cutting off half-way through my thigh, it clings down to my waist and below that it floats out in waves which flow around my legs. With it I bought the most amazing shoes, the exact same green as my dress, ridiculously high stilettos. Maybe it will be enough for Mac to change his mind about Peyton.

***

Being the best man it is my duty to arrange a stag night for Mac, I will make it the best night of his life, he may even regret choosing to marry her.

Being a woman, I shouldn't technically be allowed to go on the stag do but since I arranged it the boys have bent the rules for me. I'm going to have to ask Danny for help with the arrangements, not having been on many stag nights myself I don't know what I ought to organise.

Danny has suggested strippers for the stag night…doesn't sound like that much fun for me… although I do have a plan for how I can use the stag night as a way of bringing Mac round to me….but I'm going to need an outfit, a pretty damned special outfit.

***

I have just realised that I haven't spoken to Mac all day; I've been way to busy preparing for his wedding. I think I will go and see how he is before the stag do this evening.

I am in Mac's room and we are just chatting, we can talk for hours, it almost feels like old times before Peyton came along. That is until now, he wants to talk about Peyton, he says he is worried that she and I don't get on very well and that it may affect both his relationship with me and his relationship with her, which is not something he is willing to allow, he wants me to talk to her, I hate the woman, she is going to ruin his life. But anything for Mac, the thought of the dazzling smile I will receive upon returning just about makes me weak at the knees.

***

I knock on the door of Peyton's hotel room, she opens the door,

"Hey, can I come in?" I ask,

"Yes sure, no problem"

"Look, I know you and I have never really got on that well, but Mac is my best friend and you are going to marry him, it is pretty unavoidable that we are going to be spending quite a lot of time around one another in the not so distant future and we should at least try to get on, for Mac's sake"

"I disagree, Mac is mine, I know what you want from him and you cannot have him. I'm sorry, but once we are married Mac and I will be living in London, he has a job with the met."

"He never told me that" I say, close to tears.

"That would be because it doesn't matter if you know or not, I am marrying him, not you, it is me he loves, and no-one else really matters to him."

I run, I need to get away from this, it is all so twisted.

**XXX**

**So it's kinda disjointed and weird, but I think it is necessary for the rest of the story to flow **


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